The Temple of Doom

As many of you know, Chris LIVES, absolutely lives for April Fool’s Day. He spends all year thinking up new ways to torture me. I've taken to referring to my house as the Temple of Doom, as that's what it turns into this time of year. This year I was incredibly lucky first, because I didn’t leave the house AT ALL!!! (I’ve learned:-)) and second, because (halleluiah) Courtney lives with us and has not been the recipient of his April Fool’s Day madness before, so she got his “best” tricks recycled. This is what I got this year (so far, I'll post the update as I find more. I always find them for days and days and days after he's set them up.)

After the second session of conference I went in the kitchen to look at the dinner recipe that I’d picked out, well right there on the counter was a bag of red vines with only 4 left. I picked two up as I was thinking, “What a pig! He ate the entire bag while I was napping!!!!” So I’m holding the two ropes as I’m reading my recipe and I start eating one, but I’m concentrating on the recipe and not paying attention to the other rope in my hand, well I apparently bent it in half and all the water that had been secretly injected shot straight into my eye! ow, ow, ow!! He decided that this was even funnier than the originally intended disgusting mouth full of licoricey water. (And no, he hadn’t eaten the whole bag, the others were in a baggie hidden in my pantry - he’d just strategically placed the four for optimum snacking potential. He knows me tooo well.)

When I tried to call my mom yesterday, her speed dial had been changed so it rang to a porn shop in Salt Lake. ha ha. (I was VERY confused!!!! -however, that only lasted a minute because his hysterical laughing after watching my face tipped me off as to what had happened.)

This morning as I was hurriedly showering because I was once again, late for school, I couldn’t get any shampoo out of my brand new bottle, I kept trying and trying, until I noticed the tale tell pieces of plastic wrap sticking out under the cap, but then I couldn’t get the cap off to remove it so I ended up not being able to wash my hair this morning (and I was late for school!)

Last night as I went to open my closet door, the handle had been messed with and fell off right in my hand. I had to jam my finger in the saw dusty hole to yank it open.

The WORST this year, by far, was last night, I went downstairs after putting Shea to bed and Chris wasn’t in the kitchen where he was supposed to be doing dishes, well, I didn’t think much of it, I figured he’d gone up to our room or something. But I was turned around looking at the kitchen to see if he was in the pantry as I was opening the door to the basement, when I turned around, he was crouched there wearing one of his African masks, at the very moment that I turned and saw him, he leaped at me. THE MOST FRIGHTENING MOMENT OF MY LIFE (and that’s saying something as I’ve now lived through 4 April Fool’s Days with him.)

I always share his April Fool’s Day tricks with my kids - this year they came to me and asked me if I’d write them all down for the April newspaper as I have the best stories of anyone they know. If only I could get some fortune to go with my fame for being the brunt of the WORST trickster of all time.